Are you a Reflector in Human Design? Do you want to learn more about your Lunar Strategy and Authority and what it means to wait a Lunar cycle (28 days) to make a decision?
Today, I’m sharing with you an episode from my podcast where I interviewed Tanya Reyes, a 5/2 Reflector and a Human Design guide to share all about her experience being a Reflector in Human Design.
This is the summary of our interview. If you’d like to listen to the entire interview, it’s episode 49 of The La Ivana Podcast. Listen here, EP49: Being a Reflector in Human Design: Open Energy Centers, Lunar Authority, Human Design in Business w/ Tanya Reyes.
What were your initial thoughts when you learned you’re a Reflector in Human Design and that all your 9 centers are undefined?
It’s interesting because when I was listening to the podcast (where she found out about Human Design) and they were explaining about all of the different types, I didn’t really resonate with any of them, but I thought it was interesting. This is what propelled me to look at my own chart.
And then when I pulled up my own chart and I saw that all the centers were white I thought something was wrong because I had never seen a Reflector chart.
I ended up trying another program and the same chart came up and I was so confused. Then I realized okay, this is what a Reflector chart looks like. And honestly, there was no resistance.
I felt like all of a sudden my life started to make sense and so many things about myself that I had been fighting or suppressing or trying to hide my whole life all of a sudden were being brought to the surface as gifts.
There were definitely elements of my chart that I experienced resistance with in terms of Authority and waiting a Lunar cycle, but the aura of a Reflector and just the overarching characteristics of what it meant to be a Reflector really hit home for me.
Having all 9 energy centers undefined, which one of them is most challenging for you?
I would definitely say my completely open centers are the most challenging for me. I have a completely open Ego center or Heart center and I also have a completely open Throat. So those two aspects of myself are where my deepest insecurities lie.
When it comes to the open Heart, worthiness has been such a part of my journey. As well as allowing my desire to prove myself to someone or something or just society as a whole to really creep in and dictate certain decisions in my life. That was such a pattern.
So now releasing the need to prove myself or when I find that I’m doing something because I want to show that I can do it or I want someone to have this opinion of me, I know that it’s not in alignment.
And then for the completely open Throat, having this insecurity around ‘I don’t know what I’m gonna say’ or ‘Am I gonna say the wrong thing?’ That’s something that holds me back in life often and having this awareness of, okay, this is just my open Throat being neggy and trying to undermine my authority, even though this thing feels right for me.
I’m not going to let my insecurity of saying the wrong thing or saying the wrong thing at the wrong time hold me back from doing something that’s meant for me.
Read next:
3 Things to Know If You Have an Undefined Ego (Heart) Center in Human Design
As a Reflector in Human Design, your Strategy is to wait a Lunar cycle before making a decision.
How do you know or how do you decide what decisions are best to wait a Lunar cycle before completely committing to them and which ones can you make sooner?
Because we (Reflectors) are completely undefined in our chart, we are very heavily affected by the transits of the Moon. The Moon transits through all 64 gates in the chart over the span of 28 days. So Reflectors experience multiple different activation patterns throughout each day and throughout the month. Because of that, they’re going to feel very differently about things depending on what’s the perspective they’re receiving from the transit they’re experiencing.
So waiting 28 days is what allows the Reflector to get the full picture of how they really feel about something.
We live in a world where you can’t exactly wait 28 days to make a move on things or to accept a job, for example. We have to move a little bit more quickly than that generally. My rule of thumb is – if it can wait, it should.
Any big changes in my life, whether it is moving to a new city or quitting my job, I’ll sit with those decisions for multiple Lunar cycles. Anything life-changing, anything that’s a bigger commitment, that’s going to involve other people or affect other people, I always sit with those things for a Lunar cycle.
I just log everything in the calendar in my phone, and I just forget about it. Something about the Lunar cycle is that, at the end of the 28 days, sometimes I haven’t even thought about whatever that thing was in the entire time and then I realize ‘Okay, that actually wasn’t for me because clearly, I haven’t even thought about it again since I put it into my calendar.’
What a Reflector is really aiming for is that at the end of the 28 days to feel this kind of neutral clarity. Like, I don’t feel impulsive or super excitable about this decision, but I’ve been thinking about it every day for the last 28 days and I think it’s something that I really want to do. It’s assessing the average of how you felt over the span of 28 days.
Now that I cultivated my life in a way that allows more space for decision, if there’s a purchase over $100 for example, I’ll put it in my calendar. I have this budget that I made for myself. Anything less than that is fine. I don’t need to wait to go grocery shopping or to pick up a new book. But if it can wait, I’ll put it into my calendar.
And as an example, I just moved into a new house earlier this year. The decision to move from an apartment to a home – I sat with that decision for months. And once it actually came down to getting a home, that happened almost instantly. I reached out to the person, they had over 30 applicants, I came to see the place bam, bam, bam, it was ours within a couple of days.
That’s just kind of a picture of how, even though the actual signing of the lease for example, couldn’t have waited 28 days, the decision to actually make this change in my life could wait 28 days.
And as I became seasoned in experimenting with my Strategy and Authority, it became a lot easier for me to by default know if I’m going to wait on this because I have so many situations in my life that have proved that when I do wait my 28 days, I feel that it’s the correct decision for me.
It unfolds with so much more ease. And it’s not hard. I don’t have to push and force and grind to make things happen. And that has happened enough in my life and now I’m like okay, I’m confident waiting my 28 days because I know it works out for the better every time.
Do you experience impatience while waiting 28 days before making a decision and how do you deal with it?
I definitely used to a lot. I remember when I first found Human Design, I was like, ‘Okay, I think I’m gonna try experimenting with this. It sounds interesting.’
I definitely am very slow to make a decision. I would wait maybe two weeks and then I would think that was enough. And I would think I was clear on something and then I would just do it. Then I would realize – okay, I probably should have taken a little extra time before I jumped headfirst into that thing.
I used to be a lot more impatient than I am now. But as I mentioned earlier, I’ve built up so much trust in following my Strategy and Authority that it feels most natural to me now, at this point in my life, to just wait because I know how much better it feels and how much better things work out.
That being said, I’m married to a Sacral Generator who makes in-the-moment decisions. So I kind of have a tendency to use and abuse his Authority sometimes. I hate to admit it, but it’s true.
For example, we just got married in July and planning our wedding, in the weeks leading up, there were some snap decisions that we had to make that I just couldn’t. So I would ask him, ‘Should we do this or should we do that? Should we go with this option or this option?’ and I would allow his Sacral to make those quick decisions that we just couldn’t wait on.
So I don’t think I’m impatient with the bigger life things. I’m happy to wait.
But sometimes I do get a little bit frustrated with myself that I can’t make quicker decisions about what to eat for dinner and those kinds of things for example so that’s when I count on my partner as well or at least offer him the ability to be able to respond. Because he has that tool as well and I trust his Authority just as much as I trust mine.
However, we should rely on our own Strategy and Authority. So that is something I am working on and not using and abusing his instantaneous Sacral response that I’m so envious of.
How do your Not-Self Theme and Signature Theme, which are disappointment and surprise show up in your life?
Have you noticed a pattern that leads you to either your Not-Self Theme or your Signature Theme?
I actually didn’t resonate with my Not-Self Theme of disappointment for a really long time because I don’t feel like I’m someone who expects a lot from other people. So I’m never literally disappointed in someone.
But what I’ve come to realize is that my Not-Self Theme is the same feeling in my body, that sinking feeling in my stomach or the pit in my stomach that I would get if I were literally disappointed in someone.
So that’s the thing with Human Design – the languaging is so nuanced. And if we take it too literally it can be very limiting.
And for a long time, I didn’t think I was really disappointed ever. But I wasn’t living in alignment. So realizing actually, it’s the physical feeling that I get when I’m disappointed – that’s my Not-Self feeling.
As an example, when I knew it was time to leave my corporate job I had gone through a couple of Lunar cycles. I knew this was something I wanted to do, although I didn’t know my path forward necessarily. And how it was showing up for me on a daily basis was every time a new task would land on my desk or someone would ask me to do something I would get this sinking feeling in my stomach.
That was eye opening to me because I wasn’t disappointed that someone was assigning me a task. But just the work itself was making me have that feeling in my body of like closing off and feeling disappointed that I had to even do this.
So when I look back at my life, I find that my Not-Self Theme creeps up when something is no longer right for me or when I’ve been somewhere for too long and it’s time to leave. Most often when it comes to work or personal relationships.
When it comes to surprise, I experience it so much with just little things day to day. If my husband does the dishes, for example, I’m genuinely surprised and it just comes out of me.
That was also something that I didn’t relate to at the beginning. I don’t think I’m surprised in the literal sense very often. But observing myself or people noticing in me that when I am pleasantly surprised about something it just comes out of me like ‘Oh my god, you did the dishes! I’m so happy!’
It’s just this lifting, happy, opening type of feeling as opposed to the sinking pit in my stomach.
And how I experience the most surprise in my life now that I’ve transitioned into having my own business and being in charge of my own schedule and creating a lot of space is – I’m surprised every day by not having a fixed and consistent schedule. Every day is different.
I’m always surprised and delighted by my clients because I never know what to expect. I have their chart in advance. I always spend a lot of time preparing for my readings. And then when I meet the person on the other end of the chart, I’m always so surprised and delighted.
I would say that I’m just having this realization now that thinking about my nine-to-five job every day, when I would get a new task I would feel disappointed. And now every time I meet a new client I feel surprised and happy and light and excited.
So I would say those are my most prominent examples of experiencing surprise and delight in my everyday life.
I actually don’t like big surprises, which is something that held me back from embracing this, too. If someone plans a secret weekend for me and then just brings it on me, I do not like that. I need to have some time to adapt and to prepare to go away for a weekend or something like that.
So I always thought that no, I don’t think I like surprises. But it’s not literally surprises. It’s just that same feeling of ‘Oh my god, yay! I’m so happy to see you!’ that you can probably hear my voice.
Another thing about being a Reflector in Human Design is that the environment is very important for you.
What are your best tips for Reflectors to create the right environment or make sure that they enjoy the environment they’re in?
For me, minimalism is very key. I don’t have a lot of things. I don’t have a lot of clothes. I keep it very simple because that just makes me feel better. I don’t like to have a closet crammed full of stuff. Or things all over my desktop. I don’t like that. I like to have clear space.
I used to think that I had OCD when I was younger because I would have to clean my whole room before I could sit down and study. I used to be so hard on myself, ‘Why can’t I just sit down and study? I don’t need to clean my whole space.’
But now I realize that I just need to feel good in the space that I’m in in order to be able to relax, enjoy myself, and focus.
So keep your space tidy and for people who work from home or are able to be more in control of their environment, do a little tidy or dust or quick vacuum before you sit down at your desk. That helps me to feel more at ease with where I am.
And I will also mention too, when we’re talking about Strategy and Authority and how important it is to wait and the contrast of the way everyday life is we really can’t wait that long for everything. For Reflectors, you can use how you feel in your environment. It’s kind of the default decision-maker.
Not for the big things, but when you’re deciding which restaurant to go to for dinner, for example. I always choose based on a vibe as opposed to the actual food. ‘Okay, I want to go somewhere that makes me feel cozy and relaxed and has really dim lighting. That’s what I’m craving tonight.’ And using that as your barometer for what’s right for you.
And the same when you’re taking a job or looking at an apartment. Go and see them and pursue whichever one makes you feel best in terms of the space that you’re in. And that is important, especially if it’s somewhere that you’re going to be showing up to every day.
So really being diligent about that. And not allowing yourself to spend too much time in a space that doesn’t feel good for you because place is so important for a Reflector. Not only their literal, physical environment, but their place in their communities and people that they’re surrounded by.
If they’re in an environment that feels good for them, that is a good indicator that they’re also around people that are good for them.
If they’re in an environment that doesn’t feel good for them, they may even start to experience ill health because they’re picking up on something either in their physical space or the people around them that doesn’t feel right for them.
And so using that as kind of your default of ‘Okay, this space doesn’t feel good for me. I’m just not going to come back to this restaurant, or whatever it is. That doesn’t feel good.’
So even though we don’t have this instantaneous decision maker, like our Sacral Authority friends, we can still use how we feel in our environment as our guiding tool for letting us know when something is correct for us and when it’s not.
What are some ways you use your unique Design for running your business?
I don’t find my actual work challenging, but in terms of growing my business in a way that feels organic to me, it’s something that I wouldn’t say I’m struggling with, but I’m kind of focusing on right now.
As a 2nd line in my profile, I’m a 5 / 2 Reflector in Human Design. And as a 2nd line, I just don’t feel like showing up all the time. I’m not someone who’s gonna be on stories every day. I’m not someone who’s going to be posting every second day. That just isn’t authentic to my energy.
I just keep my website super simple. I keep my Instagram super simple. My link to book is right in my profile and that way people know how to reach me very easily if they need to. People know how to book really easily. So that’s just one thing that I have found makes me feel more at ease. Just to know like, ‘Okay, if people need to get a hold of me or they want to book, it’s very seamless. It’s clearly laid out so that I don’t feel this pressure to show up and direct people all the time.’
It’s this fine balance as well as a 2nd line between spending time alone to get into my own zone of genius which is so important, as well as answering the calls that I receive to step up.
As an example, you inviting me to be on this podcast. When I received your email I just knew this was something I wanted to do. And my 2nd line instinct is to close off and hide from the world and then my open Throat ‘I don’t have anything valuable to say.’ These are the things that kind of hold me back.
So to know this about myself, this is my tendency as a 2nd line to want to hide from the world. But as the 5th line there is a call for me to rise up. And when that call comes, it’s important for me to listen if it feels aligned for me.
Also as an example, I don’t go out seeking podcasts to be on. That doesn’t feel good for me. I’m not trying to push to be super visible and out there. That just feels crazy for me. That’s just not the way that I am. I wish I was more like that. I think also the open Heart center plays into that.
But just living life in this state of patience and trusting that what I’m doing every day does feel good for me. The way I’m able to focus my energy on my sessions and my clients, that’s what feels correct for me.
And if social media is draining for me and it doesn’t feel super natural, giving myself permission to not show up every single day. I don’t have to be that kind of person.
My optimal dream business is all through word of mouth and just this organic unfolding. That’s ultimately how I aspire to grow. It’s just authentically from someone having a great experience and gifting a session to a friend or something like that. Which is kind of how it’s been happening lately.
It’s definitely something I’m still working on being patient with myself about. The way I’m engaged in my process now feels very natural and authentic.
And I want to make sure that when I am showing up in the world, on social media or a podcast, is in integrity, and it’s not just because I want to be seen in some way. It’s because that’s something that genuinely, in my heart space feels really good for me. This is something I want to do. This is someone I want to connect with.
And ultimately, I think that’s what’s going to give my business longevity as opposed to ‘I’m just trying to grow really, really fast. And this is my end goal and I can’t wait to get there.’ That doesn’t really sound fun for me. I enjoy a bit of a slower process myself.
Listen to the entire interview here and learn more about Tanya’s personal experience being a Reflector in Human Design.
Connect with Tanya on Instagram @tanyareyes.hd or check out her website.
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Until the next time,
Ivana
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